A real weekend.

I had Saturday and Sunday off, yes, a real weekend, the first in almost 6 months. We had a wonderful time. Bella and I drove to Hondo, NM, to visit my 97-yr-old Granny, stopping in Ruidoso on the way to have lunch. Breathing in the fresh country air was just what I needed. The weather was perfect, nice and cool with gorgeous autumn sunshine. It rained sporadically, for only 5-minute intervals, just enough to keep everything fresh and pine-scented. I got a chance to shoot some Polaroids, too...

Almost to Alamogordo, NM

Thrifting in Ruidoso, NM

Taking a walk on Sunday morning in Hondo, NM

Polaroid SX-70, TIP PX70 Color Shade Cool film.

In the Midst of all Things Unimportant

I'm afraid I may have some difficulty with the Impossible Project films in the heat of summer. Not sure what happened with all these, except it was a really warm out last Saturday. I suppose a cold clip could help in the heat.

I am getting really unhappy because I haven't been drawing, painting, sewing, or shooting. All I seem to have time to do is make dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, and clean. I fall asleep with the crochet hook in my hand in front of the TV-that's my life now. I don't think I am following my true path anymore. I feel very selfish. I feel a ton of pressure. I want to teach. I want to research and write. I have displaced myself. I want to inspire my daughter to go after her highest goals.

I'm in a rough spot. A part-time job & grad school sounds/feels right...I think I should get back on the right path and keep on.

by Bee

SPECTRA, Impossible PZ680 Color Shade film.

Sunday at the magic hour.

It's almost like spring here in El Paso.  I'm looking for a day job while I continue to work on my drawing and photography portfolios.  University classes have resumed, and I'm feeling a pull back, but mostly because the job market is so dismal right now.

It was my plan to take the spring off to make a decision about what my next move will be, (whether I focus on grad school or career), but I think the economy is going to decide for me.  Ideally, I would find a full-time 8-5 administration/office position with benefits and decent pay, but it is quickly becoming apparent that I'm going to have to lower my standards.

Why couldn't I have just studied nursing...ughhhhhhh...oh yeah, I was intent on pursuing a dream...

I think I'm just going to have to settle for a part-time job so I can focus on my art and being a super-extraordinary-present mom.  I'm staying positive regardless, because life is too damn short to be stuck in the blues.

by Bee

Polaroid SX-70, Impossible PX70 Colorshade film.

We went to the park after spending most of the beautiful day indoors.  Bee had a huge homework project that she (we) trudged through for 7-8 hours with a break for lunch (!!!@!@#)^&*) >.<...  She had a week to do it, and we tried to start it early-on, but she had all this other homework to do on top of it.

**Warning**
**Mommy Rant:  Seriously, I am so tired of teachers sending these projects home that require a 50-50 collaboration between student and parent-don't they know we have better things to do and hardly have time/opportunity for activities outside of school-related stuff?**

Anyhow, we were able to catch the end of the sunshine and explored a reservoir behind the park.  I felt like we had a mini-adventure, so that was good, and it took the edge off having to be stuck indoors all day.

Out at Red Sands.

The smallest details were overlooked and all too noticeable. We went out for a semi-spontaneous shoot Sunday afternoon. Next time, I vow to make a more careful plan. Bee was wonderful, though, and she had fun.

(By Bee)

Spectra, Impossible Silver Shade film.

We're going to be in Hondo Valley, New Mexico for Christmas.  One of my favorite things of leaving the city is being able to see multitudes of stars twinkling in the black, black sky.  The chill of the fresh air and the magic of the deep quiet wake me up.  The perpetual gray clouds that hang on my mind clear, and I forget how fucked-up the world is for awhile.

I am looking forward to shooting in a different place, too.  I've shot most everything of interest to me in the vicinity of my granny's house, though, so I think we will take the car and my cameras and drive along the outskirts.

Our Amazing, Notorious, Unforgettable Vegas Vacation

American Airlines got us there.

I'm still trying to adjust to "normal" life after spending a really great, long weekend in Las Vegas with my partner-in-crime and long-time beau.  After such a hectic flying experience with layovers in Los Angeles from our old El Paso, we finally touched ground very late last Thursday night, and arrived at the front doors of the beautiful Venetian Resort Hotel.

Hotel lobby.

Hotel lobby.

We were in major awe and had to hold our jaws up so they wouldn't hit the floor, as neither of us has ever stayed at such a luxurious hotel.  The streets were brimming with happy people, and the vibe was all about letting loose and making a memories.

The shops at our hotel + statue guy.

Unforgettable, eventful moments from our trip (excluding the moments that I left behind, because what happens in Vegas, really must stay in Vegas-it's such a fantasy world...wink wink*):

1.  Walking into Dior, admiring, but being afraid to touch the beautiful clothes, then an associate asking me if I wanted to try some things on...I said YES, of course I want to try some things on!

Such nice salespeople at Dior.  I know they work on commission, still it was fab of the guy to bring me shoes to match.  I really wish I could have photographed the backs of both of these-because they were amazing, just stunning!  My back piece tattoo has never been so well-framed!

From Dior's amazing 2011 Ready-to-Wear Fall collection. I did step out of the dressing room to dream in front of the giant mirror.  I may have drooled, I'm not really sure.  (Hopefully not on the dress.)
I really thought I was in Heaven.

Here is a link to a spread where Ms. Reese Witherspoon appeared in this beautiful black and nude dress.  Seeing how it fits her makes me think I needed to go one size smaller, but alas-they only had size 4 in everything.

As pictured in Vogue, May 2011

Was I so happy I almost died when it fit me?  -YES.  As with the former, it was just a tad too big, but hey.

So my eyes are all crazy here, but I still wanted to show you something closer-up.  I was fairly nervous about taking pictures in the dressing room.  This dress rocked, totally rocked, it was luxurious, feminine, and intricately detailed.

Okay, calm down, Mia, let's move on...

2.  Settling on purchasing a few pretty dresses at Banana Republic and Kenneth Cole as consolation for not being able to afford the $7,000 Diors.  I will definitely be photographing the two dresses I did buy sometime soon, they're both sweet, and I wore them both during our stay.

3.  Eating beautiful food every single day, including a gorgeous sashimi salad, salmon tacos, and smoked salmon omelettes for breakfast-room service!  (I am a pescatarian-for what that term is worth-no I think I am a Flexetarian-ha)

Lunch by the Tao Beach pool...part of The Venetian.

4, Sitting on Steven's (my beau!) lap while he played slots, and generally always being super-close to him...we don't get to spend as much time together IRL as we would like.)

5.  Seeing The Beatles Love Cirque du Soleil  show at The Mirage-and having perfect seats...ohhhhhh, man!  It was UN real and fabulous in every way.

6.  Since my little brother works in Vegas, and knows "people," we were able to VIP it right through super-long lines Tao Nightclub at The Venetian, as well as the Wynn's XS Nightclub.

Truly regrettable things from our trip that I am allowing myself to mention:

1.  Leaving my phone somewhere in the hotel...ahem.

2.  Taking naps that were a little bit too long...nice but I think I could have cut the time spent sleeping in half.

3.  Going to The Phantom of the Opera show at our hotel and dozing off...it was nice, but...not hype enough for us-because we were in super-hype mode.  We left in the middle of the show.  It wasn't very nice of us, slaps on the wrist, ect, ect...)

4.  Trudging along from hotel to hotel, in the sun and without sunscreen, in sandals without decent support, just because I was too stubborn and absolutely refused to wear sneakers at all. 

5.  Not leaving myself extra room in my bags for shopping acquisitions.  My bags were so full they barely closed on the way back.  Stuffing two new dresses and a lovely little light alpaca/wool sweater in my suitcase was fairly traumatic.

6.  Feeling too weighed down to take a camera with me everywhere.  I did not want to be hauling along a bag bigger than my head anywhere.  I wish I hadn't been so on-the-go that I forgot to even take a point-and-shoot so many places.  So, we don't have many photos from the trip, especially now that I don't have my cell phone pics either! *Sob

We will be heading back to the notorious Sin City sooner than later, I hope.  I highly recommend a Vegas vacation for anyone.  It was totally romantic and so much fun.  Even for me.  & I'm not much of a gambler-I'm more of a shopper!  I saw things in-person that I would never imagine seeing-it's all about fashion and art, such a culmination of exquisite design and elegance...the best qualities anything could ever have in my humble opinion.

El Paso Union Passenger Depot

Today I had about an hour to kill while I was waiting for Bee to get out of her summer fun camp, so I drove around downtown, looking for something to shoot.  I decided to stop by the El Paso Union Passenger Depot, as I had not been inside in years.  It was built between 1905 and 1906, and unfortunately has only a tiny bit of nostalgic feeling left in it when you look at the tile floors and old radiators.

I liked pretending I was one of the people either waiting for someone, or going off on a trip.  I loved imagining I was a different person completely, from a different town.

I always seem to find the sweetest light in the sourest of places, though...restrooms.  The custodian completely ignored me, which was unusual.  Not even a sideways glance or a raised eyebrow.  My peripheral was aware of her reflection off to my left.  I couldn't help but to feel disappointed-I felt like a nothing, a ghost, invisible.  I usually wouldn't mind being ignored like that, but I guess I was feeling lonely.

I thought maybe I'm not the first person she caught taking a picture in the bathroom.  Maybe it was not the strangest thing she had witnessed in there.  Maybe she just thought I was some weirdo and she better not acknowledge my existence, lest she be attacked with my SX-70 machine.  Sometimes when I'm getting my camera ready, (especially now that I have to also add the shade), I do feel very conspicuous, like I'm loading a weapon.  That's it, I scared her.   

Polaroid SX-70, PX680ff Impossible  film.

Our First Summer Weekend 2011

Friday:

Pineapple and mushroom pizza from The House of Pizza on Friday.

That's my new favorite tee.  With the self-timer on my Olympus PEN E-pl1, since Bee was having a hard time trying to take a photo of me with her left hand.

We stopped to photograph my dream house.  I love it.  I wonder who lives there. (Black Slim Devil cam)

Stopped at Ascarate Lake and noticed a carnival going up in the place where the amusement park of my childhood used to be.  

Disco Fever!  I always have that.

Bee was trying real hard to take my picture, and almost had it. :) My Polaroid 340 had a minor malfunction, made me pretty sad at the time.

The most ghetto ducks I have ever seen in my life.

Saturday:

Our little cousin (meow!) came over, and we went to see Judy Moody, which I thought was AWFUL.  The girls liked it only kind-of.

After the movie, little cousin went home, and I took Bee to see some local roller derby action.  Our TexPistols blew San Antonio's Charmed Forces away.  I'm not surprised.  (That's Alkaline Trina jamming in yellow!  I love her.)

It's already edging towards the 100's here in El Paso. We love to get outside for the hour right before dusk...yes, that is the magic hour, when the light is perfectly golden, low, and wonderful. By 7 pm, the sun has eased up a little. Iced coffee and snow cones, that's how it goes.

Saturday, let's stop at the park, of course! Black Slim Devil, Fuji Natura 1600 iso film.

Bee took my picture with her left hand, and the shutter button is on the right side of the camera...she had to be crafty-that's my girl!

Sunday:

The beginning of my fancy cast drawing. (digital-Olympus PEN E-PL1)

I am not good with markers, but it was fun anyway. 

A happy cast now.

So, pretty fabulous weekend, and to top it all off, I'm going to visit my boyfriend-manfriend-whatever-I-don't-know-what-to-call-him, and we're going to watch True Blood together, tonight.  Ah, summer, you are not letting me down so far...

Overexposure, sushi, and a happy little Bee.

I knew this extreme light/dark lighting situation would be a problem, so I mistakenly improvised exposure.  I should have stopped down.  But, sweet bokeh anyway back there, it could be worse.

Green tea with sushi is an important part of the experience for us.  It takes the place of sake for me.

I really love the colors here, even the white-but dang, if my eyes could dismiss the overexposure...alas, it's impossible.  A worthy lesson, and sweet memory nevertheless.  

Miso soup is always soothing and perfectly balanced at Koze, the best sushi place in El Paso.

I think this is the salmon.  We also had some hamachi nigiri sushi, it's at the top left, barely apparent back there on it's uh-serving board.  It's absolutely my favorite fish in the raw.

My favorite maki roll-cucumber with crab, salmon, avocado, and asparagus.  It's refreshing!  It looks so lovely, too.  I really must go back with a proper light meter to re-shoot it.  Or maybe we could just sit away from the window.

My lesson learned: Put digital light meter at the top of my wish list once and for all. I've been window shopping around and am considering these:

1. Sekonic L-308s Light Meter (Black)

2. Polaris SPD100 Digital Exposure Meter

Also, I refreshed my photography skills by watching this eHow video:

Stopping Down in Photography | eHow.com

If I am going to be investing so much money in vintage cameras with tired meters, film and processing, I figure it's a good idea to keep a trusty device like a digital light meter in my bag, which is already heavy anyway.

(Photos shot with my Pentax K-1000, Kodak Portra 400 film)

Bee earned her balloon-and her snow cone.

We have been repeatedly saying to each other, "This is the best spring break ever!"  We started the week with Rango, which was so good.  I was very pleasantly surprised that it was so entertaining.  I just didn't think reptiles would be easy on the eyes.  I quickly forgot how much I don't really like them.  Thumbs up for Johnny Depp as a cartoon lizard!

The rest of the week was filled with visits to Barnes n' Noble, shopping for a summer wardrobe (a few pairs of shorts, t-shirts, and sundresses), and Netflix.  Yesterday we decided to stay in our pajamas all day long.  We ate popcorn, drank iced tea, jumped on the trampoline, and had the best time a mama and her little girl could wish for.  We talked about missing Disneyland, and how lucky we are to have each other.  I practiced making French braids on Bee, which has always been a real challenge.  (She has a sensitive scalp, and easy-flow tear ducts.)  I took several photos with my Pentax K-1000, too.  I hope they turn out good.  I've gotta be patient and take my time with shooting 35mm.  I have the common tendency of shooting off the roll just for the sake of wanting to see a few particular shots that seem like they will be awesome...

It's warming up here.  Any warmer and it will be too hot.  Go figure.
Life in the desert-either too hot or too cold.  Bee as airplane-yes, she is good at this.  

Must have a Polaroid of birds on a wire.  Another Polaroid of them, I mean.

I don't mean to be morbid, but my great-grandfather died on these train tracks.  He was an alcoholic.  He passed out while sitting on them, I guess.  Probably very near where Bee is standing now.  I never knew him.  It happened when he was young.

These are not in chronological order...I shot this last out of all of these.  Bee had already earned her balloon.

I decided to stop at this particular flower shop, since I liked the sign.  I wanted to photograph it.  I didn't end up getting a good shot of it, because I got distracted from my plan when Bee wanted to go inside.  (See, it's way back there, looking like it's coming out of the bed of that truck.)  She came out with an aqua balloon, and a lavender-colored rose for my mom.  Lavender roses are so pretty, aren't they?  It's a sort-of unusual color for a rose, I think.  

I really don't know why this is so slanted.  I totally thought I had it all lined-up, and perfect.  I hardly ever shoot vertical shots with peel-apart.  I got into this habit after I got a Lomo LC-A.  I just think shots look better horizontal, I suppose.  It's a quirk-when I'm drawing, I hardly ever choose a vertical composition.  Hmm.

I'm sorry I didn't get a Polaroid of Bee's super snow cone! It was mango-flavored with cream. She ate it too fast.  (Color Polaroids shot with PX-70 Colorshade Push! and the peel-apart monochromes were shot with POLAROID 100 SEPIA GIAMBARBA EXPIRED)