I love being a mama most of the time. When I feel I'm doing a good job at it, that is. Other times I feel completely lost-like I've made all the wrong moves, said all the wrong things. I really don't think there is anything in the world quite as complicated as a mother-daughter relationship.
When it comes down to it-I let her go, and random things happen throughout her day. She gets hurt feelings on the whim of a mean kid, what can I do about that? Nothing, really. I can only hope I've raised a girl with a strong backbone, and attempt to comfort with warm hugs, as I explain the masochistic nature of humanity.
She makes decisions not only influenced by me, but by everything in her vicinity-television, school, her grandparents, books, the Internet. Am I not supposed to be the most powerful force? I feel overpowered so much of the time, and no matter the limits I set, like most things in life, metamorphosis makes sure I don't fall asleep at the wheel. I don't really mind, but I sure could use a real nap, the kind where you wake up with drool on your cheek, under a blanket you didn't cover yourself with.