I love being a mama most of the time. When I feel I'm doing a good job at it, that is. Other times I feel completely lost-like I've made all the wrong moves, said all the wrong things. I really don't think there is anything in the world quite as complicated as a mother-daughter relationship.
When it comes down to it-I let her go, and random things happen throughout her day. She gets hurt feelings on the whim of a mean kid, what can I do about that? Nothing, really. I can only hope I've raised a girl with a strong backbone, and attempt to comfort with warm hugs, as I explain the masochistic nature of humanity.
She makes decisions not only influenced by me, but by everything in her vicinity-television, school, her grandparents, books, the Internet. Am I not supposed to be the most powerful force? I feel overpowered so much of the time, and no matter the limits I set, like most things in life, metamorphosis makes sure I don't fall asleep at the wheel. I don't really mind, but I sure could use a real nap, the kind where you wake up with drool on your cheek, under a blanket you didn't cover yourself with.
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| SX-70, PX70 Colorshade Impossible film |
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| SX-70, PX70 Colorshade Impossible film |
I know what you mean. I'm a stay-at-home dad and I experience the same feelings and trepidations -- hang in there, you're doing great...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Bob, it goes for fathers, too, absolutely. Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteIt is exactly what you mean. Motherhood is bittersweet and ambivalent but ultimately life-changing in a beautiful way.
ReplyDeleteHello, Zary, thanks so much for your support and it's good to know I am understood. :)
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