Days off with Bee.

I have been so busy with my new job, I haven't had much of a chance to shoot. I have my SX-70 and my 340 ready to go, loaded with film for my next day off. I have to make time for what makes me happy or I will sink.

Polaroid 100 Sepia Giambarba Expired

I ended up putting these SX-70 shots in my back pocket and throwing the jeans in the wash, and although the chemicals leaked and make a flaky mess, I was able to stop the dryer in time to save them.

PX70 Colorshade

PX70 Colorshade

Have a sweet weekend, my friends! 

Instant Mood

I am most inspired by photographers who are able to balance the melodrama of black and white film with another aspect of interest, such as grace, femininity, or emotional sensitivity. Some of my favorite imagery comes from Francesca Woodman, Diane Arbus, and the more contemporary (and living) Joel-Peter Witkin, whose work imparts incredible depth of mood and atmosphere with a dark psychological edge. 

George and Betty Woodman

Francesca Woodman: House #3, Providence, Rhode Island, 1976

There is something really special about The Impossible Project's Silver Shade films. Film noir and Alfred Hitchcock come to mind. I love how I can go out on a bright sunshiny spring day and get shots like these with instant film. Good times.

I didn't think this image was going to turn out-it was totally underexposed-
but after a week the contrast and tone surprised me.
No Photoshop lightening at all here. (Shot in bright sunlight.)

SX-70, PX100 Silver Shade film.

When I draw, paint, or work in any other medium besides photography, I am more attracted to color application, so it is really satisfying to see my style expressed in monochrome without much effort. I did some printmaking last fall in black and white, though. When I'm forced into it, it seems to turn out okay. I still need to photograph those prints...I will one of these days.  

In the Midst of all Things Unimportant

I'm afraid I may have some difficulty with the Impossible Project films in the heat of summer. Not sure what happened with all these, except it was a really warm out last Saturday. I suppose a cold clip could help in the heat.

I am getting really unhappy because I haven't been drawing, painting, sewing, or shooting. All I seem to have time to do is make dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, and clean. I fall asleep with the crochet hook in my hand in front of the TV-that's my life now. I don't think I am following my true path anymore. I feel very selfish. I feel a ton of pressure. I want to teach. I want to research and write. I have displaced myself. I want to inspire my daughter to go after her highest goals.

I'm in a rough spot. A part-time job & grad school sounds/feels right...I think I should get back on the right path and keep on.

by Bee

SPECTRA, Impossible PZ680 Color Shade film.

The Day Job

I am both happy and sad to say that I landed a day job last week. It's an office job, and although I think it's okay so far, I'm super-conflicted about having to put my mothering aside in this way. I know this is what I need to do, though. I don't have a choice. I know that it is important to teach Bee what it means to have to make rational compromises to earn a living in this world. I know that once we have a new routine down, things will flow better. For now, I am inching along and going through the motions.

We had our weekend. I shouldn't complain. We took a walk in the sun, which made me feel better. I promised myself to take at least 2 Impossible film shots of anything without over-thinking subject matter. If I continue to make art, I will be able to cope with this day job situation.

Spectra, PZ 680 Colorshade Impossible film.

Spectra, PZ 680 Colorshade Impossible film.

My Valentine

When you have been in a relationship for 10 years Valentine's Day becomes null and void. Although I do love pink and red, and hearts and cute things, after a few weeks of seeing it all in stores I actually start to hate it. I am very happy to announce my manfriend and I have decided not to take part in V-day festivities anymore! You know who loves it to no avail, though-my little girly-girl, that's who.

This post is in honor of Bella and her sweet romantic hopes and dreams, that I am carefully not trying to kill or overindulge.

Polaroid SX-70, 600 type film.

Polaroid SX-70, 600 type film.

Pentax K-1000, Kodak Portra 400 film.