Polaroid 340, (Fuji film) FP-100B.
I have made a very comfortable space for myself in the dark little corners of my mind. I am happy in those dark little corners. I have carefully constructed an elaborate shell that allows me to live in the world, in a way that closely resembles what is perceived to be normal.
I like being by myself. I don’t feel that qualifies me as being a hermit, but sometimes my conscience raises questions, and I think maybe it’s too weird to not feel the need to be social on some concrete level.
I have always enjoyed the company of one or two, at the most, but feel my feet begin to lose their grip on the ground when confronted with more than that. That is, unless those people are children. Children have the opposite effect on me. It has something to do with their openness and honesty. Not that they don’t lie, because they do all the time, but they do it rather badly, and it’s easy to see beyond the words, as they have not yet had time to master the coupling of words with gesture.
Children don’t make me uncomfortable, but adults definitely do. With adults, my senses go off and there is too much complexity involved in most situations. My mind spins around the questions, what do they think about me, what are they are capable of, what pain do they keep underneath the surface of a smile? I am a good friend when I feel I can be. When I feel strong enough within myself. I am a good listener, and feel I understand, and can relate. I cry too much, though! Those closest to me know this. It’s a quirk…
The world is full of chaos. Greed and violence are part of life as we know it, but the rational part of my brain reminds me that there is also beauty and grace. Art and photography help me see the lighter side of it all.
The magic of Polaroid has been such a powerful thing in my life. It has sincerely changed my perception. Analog instant is not the same as digital instant. They can’t be compared. Analog instant makes me pause. I need that break, the still potential of the moment. Sharing makes me happy. The Internet has been such a haven in that regard. The photography community is amazing, the Polaroid/analog photography community, specifically. You all are my people. I love you! See you at 'Roid Week 2011! It's better than Christmas, and better than my birthday, too. I always think that...