Sunday at the magic hour.

It's almost like spring here in El Paso.  I'm looking for a day job while I continue to work on my drawing and photography portfolios.  University classes have resumed, and I'm feeling a pull back, but mostly because the job market is so dismal right now.

It was my plan to take the spring off to make a decision about what my next move will be, (whether I focus on grad school or career), but I think the economy is going to decide for me.  Ideally, I would find a full-time 8-5 administration/office position with benefits and decent pay, but it is quickly becoming apparent that I'm going to have to lower my standards.

Why couldn't I have just studied nursing...ughhhhhhh...oh yeah, I was intent on pursuing a dream...

I think I'm just going to have to settle for a part-time job so I can focus on my art and being a super-extraordinary-present mom.  I'm staying positive regardless, because life is too damn short to be stuck in the blues.

by Bee

Polaroid SX-70, Impossible PX70 Colorshade film.

We went to the park after spending most of the beautiful day indoors.  Bee had a huge homework project that she (we) trudged through for 7-8 hours with a break for lunch (!!!@!@#)^&*) >.<...  She had a week to do it, and we tried to start it early-on, but she had all this other homework to do on top of it.

**Warning**
**Mommy Rant:  Seriously, I am so tired of teachers sending these projects home that require a 50-50 collaboration between student and parent-don't they know we have better things to do and hardly have time/opportunity for activities outside of school-related stuff?**

Anyhow, we were able to catch the end of the sunshine and explored a reservoir behind the park.  I felt like we had a mini-adventure, so that was good, and it took the edge off having to be stuck indoors all day.

In the desert with Karime.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to do a photo shoot with my friend and fellow artist Karime López.  I need practice working with models, and lucky for me, Karime is comfortable in front of the camera and knows how to pose.  I am a very shy girl at heart, and although I've learned how to step-up, direct, and lead, it's still a challenge.  I think practice will make everything easier in time.

It was chilly out, and Karime was wearing a very thin vintage dress of mine, so we had limited time at Red Sands.  I was (of course) fiddly with my Polaroid cameras and Impossible films-warming/shading films, ect...It will be easier to shoot outdoors when it's warmer.

I shot with 4 cameras: My Polaroid SX-70, Polaroid Spectra SE, Polaroid 340, and my 35mm Pentax ME Super with Kodak Ektachrome 160T slide film.  I won't be developing the slide film for a few weeks, but here are the Polaroids/Impossible Project shots, which I am very happy with!

Polaroid 340, Polaroid 100 Sepia Giambarba Expired film. 

Polaroid Spectra SE, PZ 600 Silver Shade film.

Polaroid SX-70, PX70 Color Shade film.

Thank you so much, Karime!

The *Pink* Balloon Cliché

I've been thinking a lot about my growth as a photographer, about clichés, and all that. It has nothing to do with style, it's a matter of having the means and the ambition to take planning to the next level. I like creating narratives, so it's going to take a great deal more work-more planning-to do something more substantial with my camera.

I've been thinking a lot about graduate studies in photography. I won't be able to start an MFA program for a year-and-a-half, because I didn't apply on time, but that's okay, because location is actually the most important thing. I need a program within driving distance to the ocean. I've lived in this desert all my life, and it is time to move on. There's nothing left here for us.

Pentax K-1000, Kodak Portra 400 film.

Our first Saturday of 2012

I'm still teaching Isabella to take thoughtful photographs.  It's quite a lot to think about, from checking the background to creating a good composition, it takes years of practice for these things to become intuitive.

I wonder if she would have been interested in photography on her own if I hadn't planted a camera in her hands.  I've loved taking pictures as long as I can remember.

My very first camera-1985.

Was I posing cool, or what?
The Spruce Goose, 1985

Me and my little brother looking pissed-off at Knots Berry Farm, 1985

It's good that Bee is using automatic focus cameras right now-her Superheadz 35mm and my Polaroid Spectra, so she can think about composition first.  She's doing really good so far, but I think I'm too intense as a model for her to practice with, so I think I'm going to have her take portraits of her dolls for awhile.

Impossible Silver Shade film.

I told her about the line running at a diagonal in the background, but I felt bad telling her anything.  I think I'll just let her have fun without constructive criticism for another few years.  I just want to teach her things, you know?  Photography really helps put life in perspective.  It cheers me up when I'm feeling down.  I need it.  Instant film is like crack.  I'm glad I have friends who understand.

Bee with my Spectra, PX 680 Impossible film.

Me with my SX-70 and taped-on ND filter + Impossible shade.

Snow Cone Boy!

I was going through some old files, cleaning out my external hard drive and all that fun stuff, when I came across these! Sneaky Snow Cone Boy! I like him. It seemed like a fun thing to share for a Friday night. 

Polaroid SX-70, 600 type Polaroid film + Sharpie markers.

I'm about to watch Bridesmaids. I hope for some serious laughs. I need to laugh real hard, real bad. It's been a rough first week of 2012. You know...ahem-boyfriend troubles. It should get better from here, though. I am an optimist now.